The Curse Of Queen Maub

It was supposed to be Lara's vacation. Her ship to France was 
leaving in a couple of hours, but still Lara couldn't resist.
With a yelp of joy, she abseilled down the iconic white cliffs of
Dover...

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw it, glistening in the sun.
Lara kicked at the shiny object, which flicked out to reveal
a cave in the cliffs!

Lara looked around. There were skeletons all around, 
encased in amber. It was at this point Lara wished she'd been
a bit more careful...

There it was. A round purple jewel, about the size
of Lara's fist on top of a Grecian pillar. It was so inviting,
Lara had to have it.

As soon as Lara touched it, she could hear a rumbling.
All around her, the rocks collapsed on top of her head...

Lara yawned and stretched. She couldn't remember exactly how she had survived a ton of rock falling on top of her, but somehow she had. She did her sit ups, had a shower and looked in her wardrobe for her clothes...

As Lara put on her all in one shirt/trousers combo, she couldn't help
feeling a little strange. It was filled with some kind of liquid.
She looked in the mirror. She looked gigantic. She tried to take off
the costume, but she was wedged in. She walked down stairs, muttering to herself...

As hard as it now was for her, Lara took her breakfast to the balcony. She needed to de-stress and what could be better than looking out to the rolling hills of the English countryside?

Sadly, what she saw was not better, but much worse. The sky thundered with cloud, trolls stalked the land and the countryside was littered with giant toadstools.

Lara rubbed her eyes. It was no use. It was still there...

Lara waddled out of the door, feeling very foolish. There was a sign outside of her door "Lara- Find the five power items of the five lands and defeat Queen Maub, or you will be doomed" Lara groaned. This was supposed to be her holiday...

As Lara tried (in vain) to walk stealthily around the sleeping trolls, she saw a shiny feather in a glass ball on top of a plinth. She rolled her eyes. It was like something out of a computer game...

Lifting her arms proved difficult, submerged as they were underneath a thick layer of latex. She stretched out, knocking the plinth to the ground, the glass smashing to pieces.

The trolls' eyes leapt up, their hulking bodies slowly lifting. Lara meanwhile was spending the same amount of time trying to reach down, feeling simultaneously scared and humiliated.

Finally, she grabbed on to it. As the yellow glow of power enveloped her, she felt...her nose turn into a beak.

The trolls laughed as Lara turned into a half-bird half-human. How would this help her defeat the Queen of the fairies, she thought? She flew up into the sky, looking down on the lands around her.

Of the five lands, the trolls' land was grey and uninviting. There was an enormous forest, an island in the middle of an ocean, a group of orange mountains and some multi-coloured factories. Four items left, four lands to explore. However, she was also aware that Queen Maub would be in there somewhere too...

Lara swooped toward the forest, then slumped down exhausted. The trees weree green and fertile, with big thick grass. Lara felt safe. The trees were tall and inviting. She lied down, waiting to sleep...

Lara felt the tap on her arm. She shot up, looking around. Nothing. Nothing but a creaking noise...

The branch gripped around Lara's body. She tried in vain to peck her way out, but it stretched out, enveloping her. Her body bulged out, filling with juice and becoming round.

Wisping through the trees, the blond hair of Queen Maub swished in the wind, her crown reflecting the light. She laughed as Lara landed unceremoniously on the floor.

"HA!HA!HA! Did you really think you could defeat me? Nobody has ever defeated me!"

Without arms or legs, Lara rolled down the forest, unsure what to do.
There was an item here somewhere that could help her, but where?
Maub was coming up behind her, and all Lara could do was roll
away from her bolts of magic.

Lara rolled slap bang into a tree, juice leaking everywhere.
There it was, another plinth, another broken glass ball and
what looked like an acorn.

"No escape, Lara!" yelled Queen Maub. Lara paniced. How 
could she pick up this item? she focused her mind. Her arm had
to be there. It shot out, grabbing the acorn.

Just that second, a bolt of magic, headed straight for Lara's head.
A wooden shield appeared across Lara's arm, rebounding the bolt
back on Maub. 

Lara then turned into a bird and flew off again, heading straight
for the orange mountains. She looked out. Ok, so orange mountains are odd in themselves, but apart from some goats there was no immediate threat.

She flew closer in. The goat pulled out a rocket launcher...

Lara veered from left to right, doing everything she could to avoid the onslaught of rocket shells. She flapped and flapped, before she could feel herself grow tired. She lowered herself down to the bottom of the orange mountain, before turning her body back to normal.

So, she thought, I have a wooden shield and the ability to turn into a bird. Somehow, I have to use this to get past a heavily armed army of goats. Lara then had a plan...

Lara strode confidently, her face firmly in the goat's sight. As he fired a rocket, she leapt up, gripped her shield and surfed the air to the top of the mountain.

There, at the very peak, was a balloon. She touched it and immediatly began to inflate. Damn it, she thought, could I have one day in my life when I'm not inflating...

Lara floated towards the striped factories with a feeling of dread. Lara wasn't usually invited for a tea party on the ceiling and the shrieks and howls within the factory confirmed that. However, she reverted to her normal size and sneaked in as only she could.

She looked down across the factory line. Dwarves, elves and pixies were funneling magic dust into a machine, which came out in glass balls that were put into small bags. Lara inflated herself and slowly floating over the metal stair rail. She couldn't risk being caught. as she reached the bottom of the stair rail, a siren flared.
 
"INTRUDER!" yelled one of the dwarves. Lara turned into a bird to escape, but a pixie shot out a magic lasso, tying her up. "Ungh!Ungh!" Lara groaned, as the dwarves fed her into the machine.

Within the workings of the machine, Lara saw it. A silver glass ball. Swimming through the whirpool of processed magic dust, she grabbed it,before being absorbed into the machine...

"HA!HA!" laughed an elf. "Queen Maub will be pleased." The machine thumped. Then thumped again. Finally, a metallic fist slammed through. Lara smiled, blasting magic laser bolts at her assailants, who ran off screaming.
Last stop, the desert island, thought Lara.

Lara looked around. Although the isalnd had perfect white sand, serene blue water and swaying palms, there was an air of foreboding. Like she was being...expected.

A gigantic coconut slammed Lara into the sand, which then promptly sucked her in. Lara struggled, but the sand only came higher and higher up.

"Excellent work, treasure hunter" laughed Queen Maub. "So near, and yet so far!"
Lara tried to think what to do. She couldn't struggle, so flapping her arms was out. The sand would probably mess up her robot form, the shield would have blocked Maub's bolts but little else. There was only one thing for it...

Lara filled herself full of air, then slammed Maub with a full blast, knocking her into the sand. Maub retaliated with a sandstorm, making Lara cough herself down to size.

Lara landed on a clump of grass, which fell apart, knocking her into a cavern.
Maub took her chance, filling the cavern up with concrete.

"HA!HA!HA! I win! Soon you will be reincarnated as my pixie tresure hunting slave!" She stood over the grey spot. "This is the last resting place of Lara Croft."
      
A fist smashed through the concrete, burning with yellow energy. There was Lara, dressed in white with a yellow lightning insignia.

"I AM LIGHTNING LARA!" she yelled, blasting Queen Maub who exploded in a puff of smoke.

"Lara! Lara!" Lara woke up in bed. There was Bryce and Hilary with a cup of tea and a smile.

"I just had the weirdest dream" she said.

"I know. You talked, or should I say yelled in your sleep" Bryce groaned, revealing a shiner on his face. "You even sleep action."

Lara smiled at him. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

THE END

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