Lara’s Nightmare 
by Will Turner 

Eileen sat nervously, trying in vain to spruce up
her frizzy blond hair. She'd been summoned to Sir Clive
Burnley's office, and he was known for firing people on the spot.
      
"It's your lucky day, Eileen. You get to meet your girlfriend."
He swigged from his glass of brandy, his cheeks already ruddy by 10am.
He then lit a cigar, blowing the smoke in her face.
      
Eileen's cheeks were equally red. She thought she'd hidden her
Lara picture book from the cameras. "Thank you sir" she said, rushing to
the taxi rack...
          
It would be a Berkshire Herald exclusive. Getting hold
of Lara was like getting an autograph from The Pope, it didn't
happen.
        
Eileen was staggered by the opulence of Croft manner, but
that didn't stop her relentless questions for Lara, a verbal agility equal with Lara's physical agility.
        
After an hour's worth of questioning, Lara pressed the intercom.
   
"Winston, please show Eileen out." As Winston came down, Lara smiled.
   
"Thanks Eileen, that was nice."

Nice?! The word was like an ice pick slammed into Eileen's ego.
Was that all she was to her? Nice? This was not how it was supposed to
happen.
       
Checking nobody was looking, she got it out. The coin of 
Morpheus, the small trinket she had bought on an internet auction
site for a tenner. She knew what she'd do with it. She would make 
Lara pay...
        
"I think I'll get an early night, Winston" Lara yawned, looking
foward to a rare night's sleep. She tucked into the sheets, drifting off
almost immediatly...
          
Lara woke up, fresh as a daisy. It was 5am, which for Lara was 
practically a lie in. She did her normal circuit training, but after
about half an hour she felt parched. Gasping, she grabbed her drink,
which was about the size of an oil drum. She glugged it down, her
body rippling.
         
All that exercise has made me hungry, she thought. She pushed Winston
aside, gobbling everything she could find within sight...

The maid looked around in Lara's bed. It had not been slept in...

Eileen laughed as Lara raided the Herald's safe. But somehow,
money wasn't quite enough...

          
Lara could just about squeeze into her Bentley. At least I
won't need airbags, she joked to herself. She struggled to get out, then
waddled to town.
          
She could see the people staring. Someone muttered "fatty" under
her breath. Parents warned "Eat too many sweets and you'll look like that!"
Lara tried her best to ignore them, but as she got stuck in the
automatic door of the supermarket, she passed out...

"Will that be all, Lady Eileen?" Lara said dozily. Eileen
folded her arms smugly. This was much more like it, she thought. But
being rich and having Lara under control wasn't enough. Not while Sir Clive was still her boss...Yes, a 2 for 1 revenge...

Lara woke up, her gigantic folds sandwiched between steel bars.
How she had got there was a mystery. Through the valley of her flab, she could make out a purple starred roof and a crowd. She heard a female voice yell...
"Ladies and gentlemen, the highlight of our show! All behold Lara Croft, the
fattest woman in the world!"
            
Miserably, she felt like she had lost everything. Her home,
her memory, she was no longer in control...

"NO!" yelled Lara. She looked down at Sir Clive, his
expensive dressing gown stained with urine with a gun pinned to his head.
Her Desert Eagle to be precise.
          
Eileen smiled. Lara tried to move her arm, but it was locked still.
 
She flet her finger squeeze the trigger. With an almighty effort, she
wrenched her body away and shot the security camera.
          
Before she had a chance to react, Eileen punched Lara to the ground.
   
"Still think I'm 'NICE'?" she yelled, leering over Lara's body.
     
"Not really" Lara smiled, grabbing Eileen and throwing her against
Sir Clive's desk, knocking her out.
        
"That was my 19th century bureau!" Sir Clive yelled.
        
"And how much is your life insurance worth?" countered Lara.
        
"Good point."
     
The headline was posted all over her cell. "Lara Defeats Crazy Stalker" Eileen snarled as she did her 1500th situp. She'd pay, snarled Eileen, she'd pay...

THE END
Lara Croft and Tomb Raider are trademarks 
or registered trademarks of Square Enix Ltd. All rights reserved.
This story may not be published, or re-created. All rights are reserved.